Bad joke.. really..

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner--Mother Potato and herthree daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up."Mother Potato?" she said.

"I have an announcement to make.""And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in hereldest daughter's eyes."Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin,

"I'm gettingmarried!"The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed,"Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?"

"I'm marrying a Kerr pink!""A Kerr pink!" replied Mother Potato with pride.

"Oh, a Kerr pink is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughterspoke up.

"Mother? I, too, have an announcement."
"And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato.Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said withconviction,
"I, too, am getting married!"
"You, too!" Mother Potato said with joy.
"That's wonderful! Twice the goodnews in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?"
"I'm marrying a Golden wonder!" beamed the middle daughter."A Golden wonder!" said Mother Potato with joy.
"Oh, a Golden wonder is afine tater, a fine tater indeed!"Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plans for thefuture, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. "Mother? MotherPotato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make."

"Yes?" said Mother Potato with great anticipation.
"Well," began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin asher eldest sister before her, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you,but I am getting married, as well!""Really?" said Mother Potato with sincere excitement.

"All of my lovelydaughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are youmarrying, Youngest Daughter?"

"I'm marrying Micheal O Muircheartaigh!""Micheal O Muircheartaigh?!" Mother Potato scowled suddenly.

"But he's justa common tater!"

Liveline - from the POST

Programme accused of exaggerating city crime
RTE’s radio programme, Liveline has been accused of lacking balance by a spokesperson for the Limerick City Co-ordination office, Mary Dundon.She was referring specifically to the recent Liveline programme that focused on crime in Limerick and which gave over 10 minutes to an on-air row between Limerick city man, Anthony Kelly who has escaped yet another attack on his life and a woman who claimed he was connected to her brother’s death over 20 years ago."Mr Kelly was acquitted of these charges but Liveline allowed both parties to hurl accusations and counter accusations at each other, giving the impression that this is the true picture of how Limerick people act,” said Ms Dundon who criticised the broadcasting company for not giving balance to all its programmes.She also contended that the programme’s presenter, Joe Duffy, added to the "exaggerated portrayal of crime” in Limerick by asking both parties - "is it really that bad in Limerick?”Insisting that the statistics prove that Dublin has a far worse crime problem on its hands, Ms Dundon points out that compared to Dublin, which has had 30 murders in the past 15 months, there have been two in Limerick."And Limerick gardai are winning the war on crime with over 50 of the feuding gang members now in jail,” she insisted.

Kazza

ALMATY (Reuters) - A British comedian who uses a boorish, sexist and racist Kazakh alter ego called Borat to poke fun at interviewees has responded to a legal threat from the Kazakh authorities by satirically welcoming the move.

Sacha Baron Cohen, who plays the spoof Kazakh television reporter in his "Da Ali G Show," incurred the wrath of Kazakhstan's Foreign Ministry this month after appearing as Borat at the annual MTV Europe Music Awards.

He described shooting dogs for fun and said his wife could not leave Kazakhstan as she was a woman. The Foreign Ministry said his behavior was unacceptable and that Cohen might be serving political orders to tarnish Kazakhstan's reputation.

Responding in character as Borat, Cohen, who is Jewish, said: "I like to state, I have no connection with Mr Cohen and fully support my government's position to sue this Jew."
"Since 2003 ... Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world," he said on his website, www.borat.kz.

"Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hat and age of consent has been raised to eight years old."

One Western diplomat in the Central Asian state's biggest city Almaty said he at least partly sympathized with the Kazakh government in trying to set the record straight.
"They are damned if they do (respond) and damned if they don't," he said. "It's sort of unfortunate that he hit upon Kazakhstan."

Strachan on...... drugs....

Talking about Wayne Rooney... "It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven GoranEriksson."

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough wereBetterthan you today?Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there.

Reporter: "Gordon, what will you take from today?"
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got aYoghurtto finish, the expiry date is today.

Reporter: There goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home,Becomean alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'mgoing to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man,down.

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are The right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless.

Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?"
Strachan: "I don't do impressions"

Reporter: So Gordon, any changes then ?
Strachan: Naw, still 5ft 6, ginger and a big nose!

Gary Lineker: So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would youplay?
Strachan: If I was English I'd top myself!!!!!!

6 from 6 missed!!!!

From the Munsterfans forum..........

Harry: I would like to strongly condemn the 2 kickers who missed all of their kicks from close range during the kicking competition at half time.
Both kickers produced disgraceful, brainless attempts and not only did they embarrass themselves but embarrassed all decent Irish rugby supporters in front of our Australian guests. Surely they knew they would be kicking so they should have practiced during the week.
I was ashamed to be Irish at half time yesterday. Utterly embarrassed and ashamed.


Dave Cahill: I agree. In New Zealand, they develop their kicking competition participants from a much younger age, and are prepared to use them in regional kicking competitions before blooding them at half time in Internationals

Dave Cahill: BTW, I thought that Electric Eddie was dead...or was that just a dream

Harry: yes, it is a small example of how far we are falling behind, the lack of basic skills was pityful.
The two kickers were a national disgrace. Whoever is the half time kicking coach on this island should be sacked.


Dave Cahill: But is it that simple? Some say that the polynesian heritage of the south sea islanders gives them an advantage in the half time competitions arena.I agree though, the half time kicking coach must go, he has no chance of meeting his stated goals of an irish kicker winning the half time kicking competiton in the HEC final, or an irish kicker making it to the half time competiton at a RWC semi final

"Deferred Success" is new term for failure?

By Arthur Spiegelman
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - In 2005, some people wanted the word "brainstorming" replaced by "thought shower" so as not to offend people with brain disorders, and they also wanted "deferred success" to replace "failure" so as not to embarrass those who don't succeed.

Both phrases appear on a tongue-in-cheek list released on Thursday of the year's most politically correct words and phrases issued by Global Language Monitor, a nonprofit group that monitors language use.

The phrase that topped this year's list was "misguided criminals," one of several terms the British Broadcasting Corporation used so as not to use the word "terrorist" in describing those who carried out train and bus bombings in London that killed 52 people in July, according to Paul JJ Payack, the head of Global Language Monitor.

He added, "The BBC attempts to strip away all emotion by using what it considers 'neutral' descriptions when describing those who carried out the bombings in the London Tubes."
Second on the list was "Intrinsic Aptitude," a phrase used by Harvard University President Lawrence Summers to explain why women might be underrepresented in engineering and science. The phrase met with "deferred success" and Summers had to fight to keep to his job.
"Thought shower" was third and a French word for riff-raff or scum, "la racaille," was fourth thanks to being used by French Interior Minister Nicholas Sarkozy to describe rioters of Muslim and North African descent in suburbs outside of Paris.

"Out of the mainstream," which Payack said was used to describe the ideology of any political opponent, was fifth and in sixth place was "deferred success" the euphemism for "fail" that Britain's Professional Association of Teachers considered using to bolster students' "self-esteem." The move met with "deferred success."

Seventh on the list was "womyn" for women in order to distance the word from men and eighth was using C.E. (Common Era) for A.D (Latin for "Year of Our Lord") so as to be more neutral in dates.

Ninth on the top 10 list was words and phrases that either de-Christianize the Christian holidays or neuter their genders. For example "God Rest Ye Merry Persons" replaces "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and "Seasons Greetings" replaces "Merry Christmas."
In 10th place was a move aimed at the heart of Australian culture when security staff were banned from using the word "mate" to address members of parliament. The MPs rebelled and said not being called "mate" was unpatriotic.

Specsavers

They're trying to kill me but they should've gone to Specsavers By Claire Connolly Doyle

Anthony Kelly shot for the third time this year.ANTHONY Kelly estimates that 66 shots have been fired at him in the last 12 months. The latest attack was last Friday night when a lone gunman fired a semi-automatic handgun at him. Five bullets from the rapid burst hit him, four in the abdomen and side and once through the knee. This is the third time this year that he has been injured in a shooting attack.Supt Frank O’Brien declined to comment on the issue of protection for the 46-year-old father of six.But speaking to the Limerick Post from his bed in the public trauma ward of the Mid Western Regional Hospital on Monday, Anthony’s attitude was surprisingly jocular."They should’ve gone to Specsavers!” he quipped making fun of the fact that despite in excess of so many bullets, he has ever been only slightly injured.He was due to be released this week and planned to return to his mother’s house in Southill where he has been living recently. His partner lives in another part of Southill with their six children who are aged between eight and 23 years.Enjoying his tea and buttered bread in the open ward at the Dooradoyle hospital this week, he recounted the different attacks down through the last 12 months."They’re trying to kill me, but so far no real damage has been done. I’d say I’ve had 66 bullets fired at me so far,” he remarked matter-of-factly."On the 29th of September they riddled my van with bullets but didn’t hit me and a few months before that a bullet skimmed my forehead.” The brother of deceased controversial politician and self-confessed criminal Michael Kelly, Anthony believes that the continued attempts on his life are over his and his late brother’s claims that women and families living in Southill were being terrorised by a particular gang living locally."We know that 15 rapes have been perpetrated in the area but people are too afraid to come forward. We wanted people to come out and tell the guards what was happening and that’s why I’ve been targeted.”However, despite the repeated claims, detectives and senior gardai at Roxboro Road garda station insist that there is no basis to the Kellys’ assertions. Michael Kelly died of a single gun shot wound to his head in June 2004. No charges have ever been brought against anyone but Anthony doggedly denies that the wound was self-inflicted and insists that Michael was murdered. He ordered the exhumation of Michael’s body some time later to dispel rumours that the weapon that fired the fatal shot had been buried with him.Speaking about the latest attack on him at around 9pm on Friday night, Anthony said that he believes he was deliberately lured out of his Southill home by the gunman."The windows of my mother’s and my brother’s house were put in earlier that night. I was on my way home again when I was shot at.”Anthony added that he believes he knows the identity of the man who shot him but is happy to leave the matter to the gardai. Gardai say that a semi-automatic handgun was used in the latest attack and believe that it was motivated by "an ongoing local feud”. They are appealing for anyone with information to come forward. The gunman’s identity was masked by a hat. He ran off on foot after firing at his target.Two trials will take plcae next month in connection with a previous assault on Anthony in the Jail Boreen and a threat to kill him.

From the Limerick Post...

Fireworks in Limerick

From todays Indo..........

THE brother of the victim in the collapsed Liam Keane murder trial is recovering at the Mid-West Regional Hospital.
John Paul Leamy (26), St Munchin's Street, St Mary's Park was shot in the arm.
He is said to be in a stable condition after being shot from a hand revolver at close range at around 1.10am yesterday.
He was rushed straight to the Mid-West Regional Hospital where his condition is said to be stable and he is expected to make a full recovery.
Gardai are keeping an open mind on the motive for the shooting.
The incident occurred at Lee Estate - the same local authority housing estate where his brother Eric was knifed to death in August 2001.
Gardai have carried out a forensic examination at the scene.
WITNESS PLEA
They are also appealing for anyone who witnessed anything suspicious in the area overnight to contact them immediately.
The trial of Liam Keane for the murder of Eric Leamy sensationally collapsed in November 2003 following a bout of what presiding Judge Mr Justice Paul Carney described as "witness amnesia".
However, the nation was stunned after Keane gave the two-finger sign as he walked free from the Central Criminal Court.
Keane is the son of crime-boss Christy Keane, who is currently serving a ten year stretch for drug offences.
Liam Keane's uncle Kieran was murdered in cold-blood in a feud-related revenge hit for his involvement in the shooting of Eddie Ryan in November 2000 - an attack that kicked off the brutal Keane-Ryan feud that has now claimed the lives of five people.
No one has since been charged in connection with Eric Leamy's murder.
Yesterday morning's shooting is the fourth in the city in as many days, following on from attacks in Southill, Kennedy Park and Thomondgate since the weekend.
None of the incidents were linked and only one other person has been injured.
He is Anthony Kelly, brother of the late City Alderman and criminal Michael Kelly.
He was injured when shot outside his home at O'Malley Park, Southill late on Friday night.

This bloggin' thing is gas

Best joke I've got in a while.....


A man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm, his wife is lying in bed reading.

Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies, "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."

Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

Golf & Rugby

I tried to upload some more photos but they are a bit too big, methinks.

Iceland Picture

I was in Iceland recently and took some pictures. Here is a view of Gulfoss.