The Heineken Cup 2005-2006
We set off like many others more in hope than anticipation. We’d been there before at that very stadium and witnessed first hand the total dejection and feeling of loss when the final whistle blew and we lost by one solitary point. That low point was bettered just a few hours later when I puked into my combats pocket and realised that they weren’t water proof. The solids (mushy kebab) were captured but the liquids invaded my shoes and socks… It was a long journey home.
A couple of years later we went to “twickers” and I did the day trip. It was the full 24 hour day trip and yet again our team was denied. It hurt more this time. At our first final we were naive both on and off the field. There was a sense that maybe we were just lucky to be here and we didn’t really deserve to be among the elite of Europe. We believed the hype about the strength of the English and French club games. This time it was different, we had proven ourselves consistently. The supporters too had become ambassadors. We were becoming wise to the ways of internet airlines and shady travel agents. We were veterans of the fields of France and had the experiences from two major campaigns to draw upon.
This time it would be different.
We started out from Shannon and got Ride-u-air to East Midlands. Going to the airport, we got in the spirit of things by asking Barry’s Ma if she had packed protection in Barry’s bag for him. All she could do was grab the swingin’ Jesus on the dashboard and offer up a few prayers for us… The flight was uneventful and we got the hire car and were 60 miles down the M1 within 2 hours of leaving Shannon. After a quick brush with John Law at a motorway stop (indecent exposure by three of the lads), we headed towards Bristol.
At this stage I should introduce you to the lads. Barry is the ringleader and is from the country. He’s not a farmer mind but he seems to know lots about farm animals. His main interests include swimming in rivers in the middle of the night and storing all kinds of thing in the boot of his car. Items to have been found there include beer barrels, dirty jocks, cutlery sets and bomb components. He is hoping to be a policy maker for a political party (the Irish version of the BNP) but in the mean time he is doing his best to create the new millennium bug.
Hugh is Barry’s friend from the country. I can’t say much because he’s a big b*stard, especially his head. Being from the country he like drinking and girls from Mayo. Also in the first few years of the Heineken cup when Munster were playing Harlequins in London Hugh expressed surprise at the match that Munster were wearing red. He though it was Young Munsters were in the Heineken cup, I’m sure they would be flattered. Mind you don't fall off thet bandwagon now Hugh!
John is Hugh’s brother and is a bit of a dark horse. Despite his alter boy appearance he displayed a very worrying penchant for porn. Not just normal p*rn but ugly bird stuff. If you say your taste in p*rn reflects your fantasys, then John’s fantasy’s are about ugly, 60 year old Cilla Black look-a-likes, who have flaps like donkeys ears. He is good at organising things though, he booked the car….
Jarlath is another lad from the country. He arrived from Longford to go to college in Limerick and once he saw the colour TV’s, washing machines and that the women didn’t have hairy armpits he decided to stay. He likes it so much here that he works in Cork and lives in Limerick. We were in fact very lucky that Peter left Jarlath go to the match at all. Most weekends, evenings and nights Jarlath can be found at work doing, er, what ever it is he does at work.
Me, well I am a rugby player from the Yellow Road, the club of Peter Clohessey, Paul O’Connell and Tom Clifford. The pinnacle of my rugby career was probably the day I held Johna Lomu almost scoreless in a warm up game for the KL commonwealth games. Christian Cullen also played in that game and I could have given Alan Gaffney a bit of advice before he signed him. Cullen was brutal that day, I skinned him twice myself. I also noticed he seemed to be carrying a few injurys. These days I amuse myself by explaining the more difficult laws of rugby to the country lads, and I also have a strong interest in abusing referees, from the sidelines that is, it’s not a weird sex thing.
To be continued…….
A couple of years later we went to “twickers” and I did the day trip. It was the full 24 hour day trip and yet again our team was denied. It hurt more this time. At our first final we were naive both on and off the field. There was a sense that maybe we were just lucky to be here and we didn’t really deserve to be among the elite of Europe. We believed the hype about the strength of the English and French club games. This time it was different, we had proven ourselves consistently. The supporters too had become ambassadors. We were becoming wise to the ways of internet airlines and shady travel agents. We were veterans of the fields of France and had the experiences from two major campaigns to draw upon.
This time it would be different.
We started out from Shannon and got Ride-u-air to East Midlands. Going to the airport, we got in the spirit of things by asking Barry’s Ma if she had packed protection in Barry’s bag for him. All she could do was grab the swingin’ Jesus on the dashboard and offer up a few prayers for us… The flight was uneventful and we got the hire car and were 60 miles down the M1 within 2 hours of leaving Shannon. After a quick brush with John Law at a motorway stop (indecent exposure by three of the lads), we headed towards Bristol.
At this stage I should introduce you to the lads. Barry is the ringleader and is from the country. He’s not a farmer mind but he seems to know lots about farm animals. His main interests include swimming in rivers in the middle of the night and storing all kinds of thing in the boot of his car. Items to have been found there include beer barrels, dirty jocks, cutlery sets and bomb components. He is hoping to be a policy maker for a political party (the Irish version of the BNP) but in the mean time he is doing his best to create the new millennium bug.
Hugh is Barry’s friend from the country. I can’t say much because he’s a big b*stard, especially his head. Being from the country he like drinking and girls from Mayo. Also in the first few years of the Heineken cup when Munster were playing Harlequins in London Hugh expressed surprise at the match that Munster were wearing red. He though it was Young Munsters were in the Heineken cup, I’m sure they would be flattered. Mind you don't fall off thet bandwagon now Hugh!
John is Hugh’s brother and is a bit of a dark horse. Despite his alter boy appearance he displayed a very worrying penchant for porn. Not just normal p*rn but ugly bird stuff. If you say your taste in p*rn reflects your fantasys, then John’s fantasy’s are about ugly, 60 year old Cilla Black look-a-likes, who have flaps like donkeys ears. He is good at organising things though, he booked the car….
Jarlath is another lad from the country. He arrived from Longford to go to college in Limerick and once he saw the colour TV’s, washing machines and that the women didn’t have hairy armpits he decided to stay. He likes it so much here that he works in Cork and lives in Limerick. We were in fact very lucky that Peter left Jarlath go to the match at all. Most weekends, evenings and nights Jarlath can be found at work doing, er, what ever it is he does at work.
Me, well I am a rugby player from the Yellow Road, the club of Peter Clohessey, Paul O’Connell and Tom Clifford. The pinnacle of my rugby career was probably the day I held Johna Lomu almost scoreless in a warm up game for the KL commonwealth games. Christian Cullen also played in that game and I could have given Alan Gaffney a bit of advice before he signed him. Cullen was brutal that day, I skinned him twice myself. I also noticed he seemed to be carrying a few injurys. These days I amuse myself by explaining the more difficult laws of rugby to the country lads, and I also have a strong interest in abusing referees, from the sidelines that is, it’s not a weird sex thing.
To be continued…….
posted by Ianlimerick at 3:14 pm
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